Today, regardless of industry or sector, we are on shaky ground. Decisions are being made that impact many, and in many cases, empathy is less apparent than in the past. I have one too many current friends and former colleagues going through challenging situations, having learned their fate, or facing the unknown—the "scariest" of Sundays.
Skimming through articles a few days ago, I came across a leader who said, "What we need now isn’t empathy; it’s tough decisions." I was pissed, but I wanted the additional context. I thought I had bookmarked it, but when I searched for it later, I couldn’t find it. So, I went down both a research and personal rabbit hole.
I found article after article with competing points of view. Some argued that while still important, empathy could cloud a leader’s judgment and might not be the most useful tool today.
I disagree.
I’ve been in situations where I was in the room as tough decisions were made - where I was part of the conversation, weighing in on the severity of cuts needed, the business needs, and the resulting structure. Other times, I’ve been on the outside, just as blind as those looking to me for answers - or at the very least, for a sense of assurance.
In both cases, empathy didn’t cloud judgment. It clarified it.
Empathy reminds us that every decision impacts people in ways we may not fully understand. It doesn’t mean avoiding hard choices—it means making them with awareness, accountability, and a recognition of the real human cost.
The Consequences of Leadership Without Empathy
Scroll through social media, and you’ll see countless stories of CEOs and business owners announcing massive and immediate cuts—before heading off on a golf retreat halfway around the world. Others brag about "getting rid of dead weight" to the employees who remain. These aren’t every situation, of course, but they are the ones that stick out, clouding the reality that these decisions impact real people.
I’ve been through more than one restructuring in my career, but one, in particular, stands out—not because of the decision itself, but because of how it was handled. It wasn’t professional. It wasn’t thoughtful. And it certainly wasn’t empathetic.
I remember being told by a senior leader - someone I assumed was more intelligent than me at the time - that these cuts were necessary and those selected made sense. Maybe. But after the communication was botched, he took no responsibility. He showed no empathy for those affected.
What happened next was predictable: Those who lost their jobs felt abandoned. Those who remained may have been relieved but no longer trusted this leader. Instead of stabilizing the business, the decision left a wound that never fully healed.
One article I came across, a Business Insider article, highlights a growing trend of companies moving away from empathetic leadership, prioritizing “tough decisions” at the expense of employee well-being. But as I saw firsthand, when leaders fail to acknowledge the human impact of their decisions, they lose not just employees but also trust, loyalty, and the very culture that makes a company work.
Balancing Empathy with Decisiveness
Critics have said that too much empathy can make leaders hesitant, ineffective—even weak. I would argue the opposite.
I’ve seen leaders up close with the knowledge and experience to recognize when change is necessary—yet they balance that decisiveness with empathy, both for those negatively impacted and those who remain.
I’ve also seen the other side: leaders who are outside of the decision room, unaware of whether they themselves will be affected. Even in those uncertain moments, the best act with grace and authenticity. They struggle—because those around them plead for transparency and don’t have the answers to give. But they still lead with empathy, acknowledging the uncertainty rather than pretending it doesn’t exist.
In retail, services, and hospitality, we are taught (and teach) that success begins and ends with the customer. We tell employees to treat each customer as if they were a member of their own family—the ones they like, at least. Even when they can’t satisfy a customer’s needs, showing respect and genuine care can still result in a positive interaction.
I believe the same principle should apply to employees.
Leaders sometimes need to make tough decisions. That is an unavoidable truth. But the way those decisions are made—the care, the honesty, and the respect shown in the process—determines the kind of leader you are and the culture you leave behind.
Empathy in Uncertain Times: A Personal Experience
I hesitate to share this story - for many reasons. Even after many years, it still feels raw.
During one particularly botched layoff, a person on one of my teams was let go on paper but not told when it was happening. When I checked on those on my team who had "survived," I saw him sitting at his desk, utterly unaware of what had happened.
It would have been easier to walk away, call HR, and make it their problem. But I couldn’t. Instead, I pulled him into an empty conference room and explained the situation while HR was on their way. I don’t remember how long we spent in that room—maybe ten or fifteen minutes. It was long enough for him to process, cycle through different emotions, and eventually reach anger by the time someone arrived.
I don’t share this story so that you can say, "Oh, what a good leader." Because to this day, I’m not sure he should have been on the list in the first place. Maybe I should have fought harder.
I share this story because in those few minutes—those moments that felt like an eternity—I saw it all: his pain, his fear, the weight of uncertainty settling in. And the “gift” I took away from that moment is this:
When tough decisions are made, multiply that pain by the number of people impacted. Whether you are part of the decision-making process or not. Remembering that decisions impact human lives should never be an afterthought.
Where does that leave us?
We are living in uncertain times. Tough decisions—both personal and professional—are inevitable. But empathy doesn’t make you weaker. It makes you stronger. It doesn’t mean avoiding the hard choices. It means making them with the awareness that every decision affects real people in ways we may not fully understand.
The best leaders don’t choose between empathy and decisiveness. They embrace both.
...and if you are reading this right now and a recent change has impacted you or need someone to talk to, please reach out. I trust that you would do the same for me.
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